My grandma, though, is a bit more serious. So the words that come from her mouth have the ability to sting a little bit more. Saturday for me, then, began with, "You get prettier each time I see you." Sweet, right? I should have turned right around and called it a day. Because it went from sweet grandma comment to, "It looks like you've been spending extra time at the table." Oh. She wasn't done. Next order of business? Whether or not I'm doing anything in life. "Are you working?" "You can't cook?" "You don't know how to keep a house?" Still more. "Are you ever going to find a boyfriend? "Are you ever going to get married?" "I wish your boyfriend could have come with you." side note: by the third try, it had already been determined that, in fact, I am not seeing anyone. Thankfully, after she threw all of that up, the day was better. And I was able to better enjoy her company. But I re-played this post several times. Parents, the following knows no limits. It makes me think of the title of Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself. I can. I don't need anyone to point out that I could be taller or skinnier or more fashion conscious. Or that my teeth could be whiter, my cheekbones higher or my bum muscles tighter. I don't need anyone to say I'm not funny or that I'm awkward or that I could be more caring. However you judge me, I've judged myself a hundred times over. Here's what I'm saying: Take "Talk like a lady" to heart. Whether you are a dad or a mom, listen to what Elise says. We are children of the King! Our King created us. In His image He created us. What negative talks do you give yourself??? Two, listen when you talk to your kids. How many compliments do you give your child per day? Do you qualify your compliments? Do you place disclaimers on comments? Do you show your child love through your words? Do you ever transfer your personal negative talk to your child?
by Elise Stephens
Part 1: Talking About Yourself
“I’m such an airhead. I don’t know why they haven’t fired me yet.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m a whale. Seriously. Don’t even pretend I’m not.”
I’m not sure how it got popular to talk poorly about ourselves and act like our sense of self-worth is a joke.
It’s one thing to be open about our own shortcomings, and a very different thing to put ourselves down. I had to confess this self-deprecating habit as a sin in front of a group of people a few years ago and another girl approached me afterwards and to say she did the same thing. Negative self-talk is far too common, too easy to do, and often treated too insincerely.
Trash yourself, trash God
We are God’s daughters, created in His image. This doesn’t mean we walk around with self-righteous pride or the incorrect idea that we’re perfect. But this does mean that when we call ourselves names or give harsh judgments of our character, we deface the loving perspective that our Father holds for us. Have you noticed that the commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev. 19:18) implies that you must be loving toward yourself? (Food for thought: Does the way that I talk about myself influence the way that I talk about others?)
“Be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (Rom. 12:2) and look at yourself from the eyes of your heavenly Dad. A good friend has a paper taped in the upper corner of her bathroom mirror, reminding herself that she is a Daughter of the Most High. God loves her unfailingly, will never desert her, and promises to give her strength and hope for any challenge that she will meet.
Mirror, mirror on the wall
If you need help in finding these words of love and encouragement, meet with another Christian sister and explore the Scriptures together as you create your own Biblical love letter from God. Type it up and tape it to your mirror. Look that daughter of Christ in the eye and try to say something bad about her.
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